And this I know, his teeth as white as snow, what a gas it was to see him...

I have been insanely busy since learning I am leaving Oklahoma Pretty. I am trying to shoehorn as much time as possible with those I love before they are deprived of my lovely company for a month.

Some highlights:

Saturday~Apparently I am the only one in my family who does not play soccer. I got up at ten in the morning (blasphemy!) to see Dylan play in his 5 and under league. It's the weirdest thing. They play on a field less than 15 feet in length, there are no goalies and when anyone scores you cheer. I guess I was not lucky enough to have had a supportive childhood because I still want to yell "Sweep the leg" at any competitive sporting event. I was then kidnapped and whisked off to Kylee's game, her first since dislocating her knee. It was hard to watch because we wanted her to slow down, but above all she is her mother's daughter and her aunt's niece, so giving less than 110% is not an option. She was awesome though. Then Jesse and Amy when to play in their indoor adult league. Amy had also injured her knee so she was trying to slow down but that pesky competitive edge took over. They lost, but both Amy and Jesse came close to scoring.

Sunday~Impromptu trip to Dallas. Hit up The Lizard Lounge for Sanitarium. I'd had maybe 4 hours of sleep over the last 3 days so while it was fun I totally passed out on the way home. I did get to dance to 'Birdhouse in Your Soul' though.

Monday~Dinner with Colin. We don't get to spend nearly enough time together and his plan was dinner, then home to pay bills. Not so much. I kept him out well past midnight. What can I say? I am totally worth the late fees.

Tuesday~Drinks with Ajax. The plan was a movie and pizza but somehow that morphed into a night of barhopping: The Blue Note, Speakeasy, HiLo, Sidecar. I had waaaay too many shots of Tuaca. I also tried a Barenjager, which is beer and Jagermeister. It tastes like honey and is amazing the night before. Not really the next day.

The rest of my week is full too. Tonight is Sidecar for Ostara, Thursday is The Park for SUB:Merge (Russian MayDay Parade Theme!), Friday is Candise's Art Show, Tympanic Frenzy and Bone and SokMonkey at The Blue Fox, and Saturday is Norman Music Festival (Chainsaw Kittens!) then my going away party at Sidecar.

At some point I will pack. Maybe.

Kansas City here I come...

So, my news is that yesterday my boss' boss approached me with the opportunity to go to Kansas City to work on a huge project for a month. This is last minute so I ahve to pack up and leave 4/28.



I'm excited and nervous. Excited because this is kind of amazing. I will be the only one representing my line of business for a complete overhaul of our knowledgebase. Nervouse because I am not so good without a support system and leaving the day after Abbe's birthday is probably not for the best. But it will be an adventure at least.



Plus I am totally going to make Amy, Jesse, and the kids come up to watch a Wizards game with me.



Wish me luck!

I only want to tell you how I feel inside...

I just got some super exciting work related news that I can't tell anyone about (especially since there are work type people who might or might not check this blog) but it's amazing and I'm happy and yeah. Life is pretty ok.

I need to really step up on blogging. I have been remiss with everything going on: moving to a new house, dealing with my depression, meeting and being pulled onstage by The Slits, having Zen moments that are eerie but awesome.

Just wanted to let ya'll know I'm not dead. As a matter of fact I may be more alive than I've been in awhile.

Kisses, bebes. I will be back soon.

Oh, you're a loaded gun...

This week has been crazy! We have been so busy at work, my car situation was precarious, and forces of evil combined against me to try to stop me from dancing. Since today is the Superbowl of Movies I don't have a lot of time, so let's bullet this.

~Squee! I got my car back. Four new tires and a starter cost me $200.00. I thought that crushing weight on my shoulders was something bad but it turns out I simply have a guardian angel with a thyroid condition. I had numerous people run me around all week and I wans't late once. Awesome.

~Work has been insane. I have a sneaking suspicion that the other center that handles employee accounts has simply stopped answering calls and they are all being routed to us. We have a metric ton of new hires so I have the honor of being pulled off the phones several times a week to floorwalk and answer questions. This is extremely good for my prospects at being promoted, so even though they are really needy I'm actually happy to do it.

~I'm so ill prepared for The Oscars. I have not seen but 3 of the nominated films. I know! Still, with Jon Stewart at the helm it should be a rockin' good time. Amy, Jsin, Kylee and I are going to chow down on some sushi and my special concoction from Hideaway Pizza: Chicken, provolone with garlic glaze. There will be lots of soda and tons of bitchery. YAY!

~I was stymied in my efforts to dance this week. I have been so worn out I simply did not have the energy to go out. I tried on Wednesday to hit up the new weekly at Sidecar X:Para:Mental, but DJ Ostara got The SARS and had to cancel, so even though I was there there was no music for me to shake it to. Boo! Thursday I forsook 80's night at Venu to help my sister punch up her resume for a job interview. Friday I had a decent shot, but Amanda came down from Norman for her first night of debauchery since having her baby (Emily Stitch VonDoom) and had a breakdown due to new mommy guilt. Having been through all the types of mommy guilt there ever were I of course took care of her. This meant that my dancing queen dreams were dashed. It was a heartbreaker because I got to hear Ostara at Sidecar, then hit up Kamp's for some old school fun with Marcus Freeman and PHD (Pish) and the music was jumping off. I'm talking UltraCynik, Sneaker Pimps, Prodigy. I'm crying as I type. Saturday I bought tickets to Tympanic Frenzy but our dryer went out so we had nothing to wear until after they'd already played. Jsin and I decided to hit up Sidecar for Bone, Semi and Squirt D, but as we pulled up we saw 3 cop cars in front. Turns out Sidecar got a noise complaint and the cops started herding people out due to occupancy issues. Nick, the manager, got an $800.00 ticket, they shut the bar down and arrested a couple people, including local filmmaker Dreadlock John. I did get to see a few old school homies: Jason Jacobs, Trevor Flynn, and Emily. I've not seen Emily since Shiny Toy Guns played here last year as she has been on tour with them. That tends to happen when you marry the lead singer. It was rad to see her though, and I got to hear all about The Grammy's (where they lost to The Chemical Brothers, but hey, if you are going to lose to any other electronic act at least it was The Chemical Brothers) before the police shut us down like U2 on a rooftop. We headed over to The Wreck for Ostara's set and I got to dance to (oddly enough) Shiny Toy Guns 'Le Disko' before the drag show started. I danced to a few more songs before I had to get Jsin home for some much needed sleep because he had to work today. So, in sum, I really need to dance for hours and hours and it needs to happen soon.

~And it wouldn't be a week if I didn't get into some sort of altercation. Let me be clear on this: I was not drunk, nor did I do anything wrong. You may recall that I played an innocent joke on a boy I called Nothing. His actual name is Brian Zero and since our last dust up we have made amends. Of course, nothing ever goes smoothly in DangerWorld, and on Friday that peace was broken. The bare bones is that I was told in no uncertain terms to keep him away from Amanda. I was not sure of the situation, but the urgency in everyone's voice, and the fact that I was her de facto Lone Ranger for the evening meant I was going to make sure it happened. When we went to Kamp's Brian was there. He tried to come up to us and I told him to just walk away, that I would explain later. About 45 minutes later my sister came up and told me to be nice to Brian. I felt bad because I did not mean for him to think I was mad at him. Amanda had to use the facilities and as we were walking I saw him leaning against the wall. I approached him and told him I was not mad at him, that I just needed him to stay away from Amanda. He took this as an invitation to point his finger in my face and call me a bitch. I don't take too well to that sort of thing so I flipped. I yelled at him as he continued to yell at me, then he had the nerve to actually bow up and get in my face. That was it. I lunged at him and he wisely waddled away as quickly as he could. Luckily Amanda put me in some weird new mommy headlock, and even though I attempted to drag her with me to dole out my own brand of justice, I only got about 5 feet before my breathing was pretty much cut off. Sigh. The things I do for my friends.

That's all I have for now. I need to jump in the shower and prepare for The Oscars. Hopefully things will calm down this week so I can get back to regular posting. There is more nightlife to be blogged and more unintentional barfights to be had. I want all ya'll around for the festivities.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it to you when you forget the words...

*Last post ever regarding this person. Back to our regularly scheduled revelry tomorrow*

Today was horrible.

My mood was not improved by talking to my mom and then the situation that blew up last night got even worse today.

No specifics, just know I didn't do anything stupid~no drinking, no running, no cutting.

I do believe, going forward, I'm going to tape record all my conversations with Hubby so that he cannot say I said things I didn't or say he didn't say things he did. Yeah, I know, I'm not going to be talking about anything of consequence to him anymore, but I think its best if I Richard Nixon that crap. Also, since his wife is no longer my boss I do believe its safe for me to dispense with the pseudonym: Dangerworld meet Campbell.

If ya mosey on over to my MySpace account you will see that Campbell is still on my friends list. Why? Because this last time I readded him (after deleting him 3 times) I promised him that I would not delete him again. It seems a simple thing, remove and be done, but I gave my word that I would not do it.

So there he will remain, a reminder that all who smile are not friends and a testament to the fact that I uphold my word as much as I can. It's a painful lesson and one that has cost me dearly, but a good one to be reminded of now and then.

Shannon told me today that if I knew what he was really like I would never have liked him. She told me she believes that I'm not the type to form an emotional attachment to someone without them giving me a reason to. I'm thinking she is right.

He once sent me a text that told me his actions were a stark contrast to the facade. At the time he was speaking about our friendship and how he felt about me. Bekah liked to say that he was just slinging some ancient Chinese secret BS. I actually think he was being quite honest with me, but not for the intitial reasons I believed to be true. His actions in the past few days have definitely shattered the facade of who I thought I was dealing with.

But the weird thing about it is I shed no tears over this. Sure, I cried over the situation and the pain it caused the people I love, but the loss of Campbell (or the loss of who I thought he was)...nothing. And that's strange to me because here is a person I let back in several times thinking that my life would be somehow 'less than' if he wasn't in it, but when confronted with the reality I'm just kind of numb. I'm not sure if that's healthy or if I've just become so enured to the fact that the reality that happens when we are alone is not the same reality that he dutifully reports to everyone else. And to be honest, I realize as I'm writing that I really don't care.

I may be a deeply flawed person: judgmental, harsh, cold, but I have a flip side to my coin, which is loyal, honest, and comes from a place where I am trying to do the right thing. I allowed myself to be distracted from that by someone who really doesn't exist, and I allowed that distraction to cause pain to those that I care about with all of the heart I try so hard to pretend I don't have.

So, whatever ends he was trying to accomplish, he failed. My friends and I will grow and change, repair and renew. It does not come without my guilt over letting in someone who is so obviously hurting others because of his own pain, nor without me manning up and owning the fact that I allowed this to happen because I so wanted to belive that this person was bringing light into my life.

What it boils down to is that I made a mistake. I trusted when I should have been guarded, but I am not going to let that infect my other relationships any longer.

So, Campbell , thanks for the lesson. I hope that whatever God whispers in your ear makes you finally see the truth, peace, and happiness you are searching for on this plane, but can never really find.